Skates

Two weekends after my move, I went skating. I didn't know how to skate, but that's no reason not to do it. It was after my first half-week of teaching, and it was the best way to end my day off. We had only paid for a 30 minute admission to the rink. As it turned out, 30 minutes was perfect for a first lesson.

It was wobbly at first. The physics of skating are different from the physics of walking, and my center of balance was confusing my body. Thankfully, I was with a new friend and colleague, and her kid. She helped me start small and focused. "Just angle your feet 90 degrees from each other, and push" she demonstrated.

So I focused my mind, wobbled a little to find my balance, angled my feet, and pushed right. Woaaaah! Okay you just moved a little and you didn't fall. Good. Now, try again. Check it out, you moved again-- perfect. Okay, now try it to the left. Whoops! Hey, you lost your balance, but you're fine. Now, angle, and push. It's okay that you aren't moving fast. Just focus. Focus, angle, push. Focus, angle, push.

I felt like a baby trying to walk. It was fascinating because it was like discovering balance and motion for the first time-- again. It was also frustrating because I was putting in a lot of focus and effort, and not moving much. Knowing that I wouldn't learn if I put too much pressure on myself, I paused to refocus. Right... left. I'm fine. I'm exactly how I'm supposed to be. Right... left. I'm a baby learning to walk. This is new. All brand new. Right... left. Be a baby. Be new. Absorb everything.

Right, left, right, left.

After 10 minutes, I slid into a rhythm and managed to move consistently without losing balance. Right, left, right left. Holding myself straight was causing too much resistance. Lean forward, lean into the motion. Right, left, right, llleeeft... I hesitated, slowed too quickly, and lost balance. Keep moving. Right, left, right, le--  My skate hit the ice wrong and jerked me to a sudden stop, and I fell. Keep those skates angled. I had better success when I trusted the rhythm and just kept moving. Even when you slow down, just keep moving. The music over the loudspeakers helped. Right, left, right, left.

Hey, this is like teaching. I paused to reposition my feet and push myself into the rhythm again. I'm scared that my lack of experience will keep me from being successful. But all I have to do is just keep going. Keep moving. Keep practicing. Keep focusing. Before I know it, I'll be doing it without much stress or difficulty at all. It will become familiar and easy, and I'll master the motions and rhythms of the classroom just by keeping moving. If I can skate, I can teach. I can do this. I smiled to myself, and a random girl skating with me in the rink smiled back. I looked at the clock.

I had been skating for fifteen minutes without thinking about it. My time was almost up.

I circled the rink one last time. The coolness of the ice and the breeze of my own motion, the rhythm of the music and the other skaters, the ease and familiarity of the movements that had been strange and scary only minutes earlier, the sensation of being one with the ice and the air... I'm hooked.

I wasn't reluctant to remove my skates, as I had laced them too tightly and they were hurting me. But I was reluctant to walk again. Walking is heavy. You have to push with every step, and fight gravity with every motion. Yuk. Why walk when you can glide?

I hope I was right about teaching.

I hope I have the time on my weekends to skate consistently.

And I hope I never get too old to learn something new.